You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
