I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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