So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
