Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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