return my video game
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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