6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he fucked my hip out of place.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
