let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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