found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
