You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
