I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
