I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
