If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
