How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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