sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
