Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
