remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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