Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
