He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
