This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
