Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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