i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
