I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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