I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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