The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
