So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
