But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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