We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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