So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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