Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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