genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize