I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
