I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
