she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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