were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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