I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize