they need to just BURY HIM!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
