she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
