plz talk dirty to me
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
do herpes really smell.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
