woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize