on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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