omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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