She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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