They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??