You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
two words: eviction party
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.