Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.