sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
