fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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