i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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