He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
