wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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