she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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