Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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