never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee