No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize