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• (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

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• (631): View more from New York

  there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.

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• (562): View more from California

  about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person

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• (518): View more from New York

  Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

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• (209): View more from California

  For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...

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• (801): View more from Utah

  She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness

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