my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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