They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
