This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize