The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
