you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
