I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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