I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
