Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
