he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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