Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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