I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did I show you my penis last night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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