I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize