She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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