It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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