some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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