anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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