First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
