love makes seman taste better
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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